As I was innocently watching my tape of King of the Hill this past Sunday, I was confronted by a commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper. The commercial's story is that a couple of losers are out on a date and the girl orders Diet Dr. Pepper. This makes her so happy that she can no longer hear words and her entire auditory experience is reduced to a novelty song that would not get out of my head.
I spent four solid days watching the commercial over and over and drinking rum straight from the bottle in a futile attempt to get that out of my mind to no avail. Now, as I sit here in agony due to imminent kidney failure, I have finally killed my demon. The solution is to go to the Dr. Pepper webpage and watch the commercial again and again and again. At some point (generally halfway through the first viewing), you will start to drink heavily. Your body must be ready for this test. Eat hearty before starting. Buy quality liquor. No mixers. Should your kidneys make it through that ordeal, you will be free and that unholy ditty will be replaced by something of higher quality.
The one that took over duties racking my brain is that Gwen Stefani thing where she spells out bananas a hundred times.
It's an improvement.
If you want to tempt fate, the commercial is on Dr. Pepper's website (click on media gallery and watch the first commercial ("Date"):
Bonus trivia - apparently the song was originally scored for a Swedish soft core porno in the late '60s. Jim Henson was so intrigued by it, he had the Muppets cover it, which is the version used in the Dr. Pepper commercial. That's what Google tells me, anyway.
