"Some Assembly Required" my ass!
Two and a half hours later, I'm covered with sweat, my back is killing me and my right nut is trying to escape into my body. After all that I figured out that I have to go through all this again because it only holds about a third of all the fucking books I have around here.
The great thing is all the money I saved. It cost $50 unassembled and $100 fully assembled. As I charge my clients $200 an hour for my services, I figure this bastard cost me around $550. That's not even counting having to go out and buy a new screwdriver because either my father, my housekeeper or CrazyCatLady has hidden mine. All this plus, any medical bills for back and scrotal pain that will be required after putting together two more of these mothers.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Hey Jen
Found some more. This is even more on point, if that's possible!
Your Biggest Challenge Is:
How can you be a Rebel with a cause?
* Rebels are caught in the middle of a push and pull contest within their personalities. One side of you wants to change the world (or at least your part of it), while the other side tends to get frustrated with the process and procrastinate, or just give up.
* As a Rebel, you like to shake things up. You want to see action, not endless discussion. It's frustrating to see how hard it is to change the status quo. At work you can argue a point until you go hoarse and still see no change. As you see it, most people would rather set up committees or bicker about details than take any real action.
* That's how we end up with Rebels "without a cause." Perhaps your cause is a more local one. You can make a difference in your own life and the lives of your friends and family by being an authentic, original person. There are plenty of role models for conformist clones, but society needs its Rebel role models, too.
* Here are some other personal causes you might work on:
o It's hard to trust other people completely. It's even harder for you to let yourself depend on them. The key is taking it slowly. Gradually open up and let yourself rely on other people. Relationships have to keep growing. So you may have to push yourself beyond what you're comfortable with to let your life be truly interconnected with other people. Agree?
o You need motivation and direction. You have tons to offer to the world, but could use a kick-start sometimes to get going. Try to jump on any interests you have and run with them. Agree?
o Your distrust of other people can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes it's wise to keep your guard up. It's true that pessimistic people tend to see situations more realistically than optimists. On the other hand, people tend to give us what we want. If you subtly communicate that you expect the worst from someone, that's likely what you'll see. To test it out, experiment with sending the opposite signals of trust and optimism and see if you notice a change.
Your Biggest Challenge Is:
How can you be a Rebel with a cause?
* Rebels are caught in the middle of a push and pull contest within their personalities. One side of you wants to change the world (or at least your part of it), while the other side tends to get frustrated with the process and procrastinate, or just give up.
* As a Rebel, you like to shake things up. You want to see action, not endless discussion. It's frustrating to see how hard it is to change the status quo. At work you can argue a point until you go hoarse and still see no change. As you see it, most people would rather set up committees or bicker about details than take any real action.
* That's how we end up with Rebels "without a cause." Perhaps your cause is a more local one. You can make a difference in your own life and the lives of your friends and family by being an authentic, original person. There are plenty of role models for conformist clones, but society needs its Rebel role models, too.
* Here are some other personal causes you might work on:
o It's hard to trust other people completely. It's even harder for you to let yourself depend on them. The key is taking it slowly. Gradually open up and let yourself rely on other people. Relationships have to keep growing. So you may have to push yourself beyond what you're comfortable with to let your life be truly interconnected with other people. Agree?
o You need motivation and direction. You have tons to offer to the world, but could use a kick-start sometimes to get going. Try to jump on any interests you have and run with them. Agree?
o Your distrust of other people can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes it's wise to keep your guard up. It's true that pessimistic people tend to see situations more realistically than optimists. On the other hand, people tend to give us what we want. If you subtly communicate that you expect the worst from someone, that's likely what you'll see. To test it out, experiment with sending the opposite signals of trust and optimism and see if you notice a change.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Yahoo Personals Personality Profile
I took the "Personality Profile" on Yahoo's Personals website. I thought this fit me to a "T". How can a multiple choice test come out so freaking close?
For those of you looking for info on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial, scroll on below - the link you're looking for is down there.
Challenging the status quo
* You're a Rebel who challenges the status quo with your proactive, defiant, and stimulating style.
* It's hard to write a personality summary for a Rebel like yourself. First, you're skeptical by nature and you probably have your doubts about this report even before you read it. Second, you see yourself as the exception to most rules. You don't like to be boxed into a type. So we can only offer you the following summary and suggest that if you find a shoe that fits, wear it...or at least try it on for size.
* To you, being a Rebel is not about being the "bad boy or girl." (Or perhaps we should say it's not just about that.) Being a Rebel means questioning ideas and challenging authority and institutions. It's about your commitment to being a free thinker and making your own judgments and decisions. You can see it in the eclectic music you listen to, your unique clothing style, and your complex ideas about politics and religion. You pity the conformists, because they'll never know the freedom and rich variety of experiences you enjoy.
* Although some people see you as a pain in the neck (and other body parts), you actually have an enormous respect for people and individual rights. You reject the conformist idea that people are like interchangeable parts. You look to find in others what you've always had—a spark of life that uniquely defines you. You often help bring this out in other people. For example, you're the type of friend that doesn't always tell you what you want to hear. You can't stand hypocrites and won't let your friends, family, or co-workers get away with saying one thing and doing another.
* Unlike the most famous Rebel, who was "without a cause," you have to have a purpose in life. This isn't easy when you reject society's standard scripts for how to become an adult. You know going after the perfect job, car, and house is a hollow pursuit. You reject any path that asks you to sacrifice yourself for someone else's gain. Instead, your path requires that you take the proverbial "road less traveled." You have to follow your "bliss" (or what uniquely engages you) and bring into your life others who are pursuing theirs.
For those of you looking for info on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial, scroll on below - the link you're looking for is down there.
Challenging the status quo
* You're a Rebel who challenges the status quo with your proactive, defiant, and stimulating style.
* It's hard to write a personality summary for a Rebel like yourself. First, you're skeptical by nature and you probably have your doubts about this report even before you read it. Second, you see yourself as the exception to most rules. You don't like to be boxed into a type. So we can only offer you the following summary and suggest that if you find a shoe that fits, wear it...or at least try it on for size.
* To you, being a Rebel is not about being the "bad boy or girl." (Or perhaps we should say it's not just about that.) Being a Rebel means questioning ideas and challenging authority and institutions. It's about your commitment to being a free thinker and making your own judgments and decisions. You can see it in the eclectic music you listen to, your unique clothing style, and your complex ideas about politics and religion. You pity the conformists, because they'll never know the freedom and rich variety of experiences you enjoy.
* Although some people see you as a pain in the neck (and other body parts), you actually have an enormous respect for people and individual rights. You reject the conformist idea that people are like interchangeable parts. You look to find in others what you've always had—a spark of life that uniquely defines you. You often help bring this out in other people. For example, you're the type of friend that doesn't always tell you what you want to hear. You can't stand hypocrites and won't let your friends, family, or co-workers get away with saying one thing and doing another.
* Unlike the most famous Rebel, who was "without a cause," you have to have a purpose in life. This isn't easy when you reject society's standard scripts for how to become an adult. You know going after the perfect job, car, and house is a hollow pursuit. You reject any path that asks you to sacrifice yourself for someone else's gain. Instead, your path requires that you take the proverbial "road less traveled." You have to follow your "bliss" (or what uniquely engages you) and bring into your life others who are pursuing theirs.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Coppell, Texas Assholes
This morning, on my way to my office in Coppell, Texas, I got into two near road rage incidents within five minutes. Now certainly, this is nothing new with me. However, what is new is that I was completely within the right in both incidents.
The first was at a three lane road. I was in the right lane, which was not a turn lane. The light was red, so I was at a stop, which I think is what is called for in such a situation. The person behind me honked at me twice. When I looked up, the light was still red, so I looked in my rearview mirror, where a little irate woman was waving her hands at me to go. I pointed to the red light, and pointed ahead, indicating that I intended to go through the light, and not turn right.
She honked again!
The light turned green, so I pulled a little into the intersection, enough for her to pull up, but not far enough for her to turn right. I then came to a dead stop and honked my horn at her. She responded by vigorously flipping me off.
So I pulled forward another two feet and stopped again, honking my horn a few times. I could see her losing her shit in the rearview mirror.
I pulled forward slowly and she took the right flipping me off more.
I didn't get her license.
Not five minutes later, I'm in the right hand lane of a three lane road. The posted speed limit is 40. As I'm not in a hurry, and I've seen people pulled over on the road (Beltline for you Dallas folks), I'm going 40. A black Camaro starts tailgating me and honking her horn. I can see in the mirror that the driver is a fat white trash woman and she's flipping me off!
I responded as I always do when tailgated, which is to take my foot off the gas (I don't put on the brakes) and coast until they get away from me. This sent her into a rage, which made me smile.
She finally got around me in the middle lane and took off. I followed. She slammed on the brakes and flipped me off again.
I can't let that go, so I start to shadow her and she keeps slamming on the brakes and flipping me off. I give her some room. She gets over in the left lane and I pull up next to her at a light. Jabba the Butt gives me a smile and waves. I flip her off (giving as good as I get) and she laughs.
She finally turns left where I need to go straight. I briefly consider following her, because I'm pretty pissed by now, but decide that in my frame of mind I'm likely to do something stupid, so will take care of it later.
How will I do that, you ask?
I got the license plate number of her car. With a few strokes of the keyboard on this new fangled internet thing and I've got her address, her name and the other SIX people that live in her house (I told you she was trash), a home phone number and a Google satellite picture of her house. Plus, driving directions there. A big "Thank YOU!" to the evil Baby Doc who taught me all the ins and outs of cyber-stalking!
I'm still considering doing something stupid: spray painting a big "CUNT" on the hood of the Camaro (don't worry, I'm not violent), but would rather do something smart. If one of my three regular readers have 1) a suggestion as to smart revenge, and/or 2) an explanation of just exactly what is up with Carrollton drivers, please leave a comment.
Thank you!
The first was at a three lane road. I was in the right lane, which was not a turn lane. The light was red, so I was at a stop, which I think is what is called for in such a situation. The person behind me honked at me twice. When I looked up, the light was still red, so I looked in my rearview mirror, where a little irate woman was waving her hands at me to go. I pointed to the red light, and pointed ahead, indicating that I intended to go through the light, and not turn right.
She honked again!
The light turned green, so I pulled a little into the intersection, enough for her to pull up, but not far enough for her to turn right. I then came to a dead stop and honked my horn at her. She responded by vigorously flipping me off.
So I pulled forward another two feet and stopped again, honking my horn a few times. I could see her losing her shit in the rearview mirror.
I pulled forward slowly and she took the right flipping me off more.
I didn't get her license.
Not five minutes later, I'm in the right hand lane of a three lane road. The posted speed limit is 40. As I'm not in a hurry, and I've seen people pulled over on the road (Beltline for you Dallas folks), I'm going 40. A black Camaro starts tailgating me and honking her horn. I can see in the mirror that the driver is a fat white trash woman and she's flipping me off!
I responded as I always do when tailgated, which is to take my foot off the gas (I don't put on the brakes) and coast until they get away from me. This sent her into a rage, which made me smile.
She finally got around me in the middle lane and took off. I followed. She slammed on the brakes and flipped me off again.
I can't let that go, so I start to shadow her and she keeps slamming on the brakes and flipping me off. I give her some room. She gets over in the left lane and I pull up next to her at a light. Jabba the Butt gives me a smile and waves. I flip her off (giving as good as I get) and she laughs.
She finally turns left where I need to go straight. I briefly consider following her, because I'm pretty pissed by now, but decide that in my frame of mind I'm likely to do something stupid, so will take care of it later.
How will I do that, you ask?
I got the license plate number of her car. With a few strokes of the keyboard on this new fangled internet thing and I've got her address, her name and the other SIX people that live in her house (I told you she was trash), a home phone number and a Google satellite picture of her house. Plus, driving directions there. A big "Thank YOU!" to the evil Baby Doc who taught me all the ins and outs of cyber-stalking!
I'm still considering doing something stupid: spray painting a big "CUNT" on the hood of the Camaro (don't worry, I'm not violent), but would rather do something smart. If one of my three regular readers have 1) a suggestion as to smart revenge, and/or 2) an explanation of just exactly what is up with Carrollton drivers, please leave a comment.
Thank you!
Monday, July 11, 2005
I love Statcounter.com!
Ever since I installed this thing, I am obsessed with seeing what brings people to this site.
Other than my "regulars", it appears that what brings most people here is information on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial. However, there were two visitors with other agendas. One guy from New York found his way here by doing a Yahoo search for "shoe mistress". I have no idea what that is, but I'm guessing that he did not find what he was looking for, as his visit was less than five seconds.
The other from Yahoo came from a character looking for "Cokie Roberts picture". Now that could very well be a normal request. However, let's get serious. This is the internet. We all know good and well to what use that picture would be put, once it was found.
I feel bad for both of these (I'm assuming guys). If I had a nude picture of Cokie Roberts, I would certainly post it, as it is obviously good for business.
Other than my "regulars", it appears that what brings most people here is information on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial. However, there were two visitors with other agendas. One guy from New York found his way here by doing a Yahoo search for "shoe mistress". I have no idea what that is, but I'm guessing that he did not find what he was looking for, as his visit was less than five seconds.
The other from Yahoo came from a character looking for "Cokie Roberts picture". Now that could very well be a normal request. However, let's get serious. This is the internet. We all know good and well to what use that picture would be put, once it was found.
I feel bad for both of these (I'm assuming guys). If I had a nude picture of Cokie Roberts, I would certainly post it, as it is obviously good for business.
Saturday, July 9, 2005
Lonestar Park, Grand Prairie, Texas
Nice facility, cheap admission and good people watching. For example, a few years ago, I saw a little girl (perhaps 9 or so) pushing around what appeared to be a corpse in a wheelchair. The figure in the chair was a man around (I'm guessing) 80+. His skin had all manner of blotches and marks and general grossness. He looked to be asleep (or dead!), with his head leaning to his right, mouth open, and eyes closed.
The girl was running the wheelchair as fast as she could push it toward walls, then changing direction at the last minute, while the poor guy in the chair was zoned out in his own world.
The old man was the only adult in proximity of said child.
As she careened this guy around, she yelled, "I'm a crazy driver, Grandpa!!!"
The girl was running the wheelchair as fast as she could push it toward walls, then changing direction at the last minute, while the poor guy in the chair was zoned out in his own world.
The old man was the only adult in proximity of said child.
As she careened this guy around, she yelled, "I'm a crazy driver, Grandpa!!!"
Thursday, July 7, 2005
Dr. Pepper Guy
It looks like most of my hits come from people searching for information on the Dr. Pepper commercial that I talk about below. However, my hit counter says that most of you stay for less than 5 seconds. I'm so happy that my page is so enthralling!
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