Dry Cleaning Lady

Another repost from late 2004, despite the tag.  I think my writing's a bit better now.

She's probably about 5'1", late 50's or early 60's. She's an immigrant from Korea and speaks with an accent. She speaks very deliberately and tends to draw out the last syllable of her sentences and lets them trail.

She's been trying to set me up with her niece ever since I moved next door to the cleaners in 2000. I've never followed up on it, because the situation is a little strange, even for me, and I figure anyone whose aunt is pimping so hard to complete strangers must have some problems. Anyway, I worked at a large corporate law firm and we had to wear suits every day. As such, I used to see her a lot. When we switched to business casual, I only got suits cleaned occasionally. On those times I do go now, she peppers me with questions. What follows is our conversation today when I went to pick up my suit:

Dry Cleaning Lady: "You still lawyer?"

Me: "Unfortunately."

DCL: "My niece need boyfriend. You like Korean girl?" As she says this, she shifts her face a little bit and looks at me up and with her head turned, so she's looking at me by looking up and to the left, like she's studying me.

Me: "I like pretty girls."

DCL: "Oh, she very pretty. She a good cook, too. You like Korean food?"

Me: "I like good food." For some reason, I'm a little nervous right now.

DCL: "She can make any kind of good food. She was born here."

Me: "How do you know she would like me?"

DCL: "She like white man!" That poor niece.

DCL: "Also, you have good job and nice car." I didn't bother to correct her about my "good" job.

Me: "Why doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

DCL: "She don't meet many men in medical school."

So, I'm thinking of giving her a call. I think it will go something like this:

"Hi, your aunt gave me your number because you need a boyfriend. I know you'll like me because I'm white and have what most would consider a good job. The last time I checked, I'm a man.

Also, I know it's tough to find a man in medical school because every doc I know is a headcase. I'm sure you're the exception, though. In any event, what that means to me is that in a few years you can take care of me in the way I've been accustomed.

Anyway, let's get together. Why don't you cook up some Korean food, which I'm told you do well. We'll go eat it in my car, which I know you'll like, because your aunt says you like late model Kraut sedans."

I'll report my success, or lack thereof.